sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
