Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
