trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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