His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
