You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
