How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
did i just pee glitter
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
