mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
