Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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