She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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