I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
