I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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