my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
