At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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