I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
