I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
