I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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