Say something about gay babies.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
