he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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