the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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