The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
