well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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