the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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