I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
