i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
