Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
