worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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