I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
