I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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