I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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