shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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