dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
