While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
