Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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