I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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