Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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