I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We are two peas in an std pod
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
