I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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