gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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