I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
