Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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