She's JV to your varsity
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Pants are for mortals
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
