We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
