My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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