I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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