ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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