After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize