I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
you never un-have a 4some
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
