im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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