K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
