Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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