so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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