No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize