I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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