Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
