if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Soap is not a condiment
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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