I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
