Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
