We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
