i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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