I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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