Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
