Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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