I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
